(Originally Published on Gigging Forever in October 2011)
I may have mentioned before that I'm obsessed with music. In fact, I'm pretty sure I did. I'm essentially never without music at any time during the day - cooking, cleaning, driving, working - unless I'm in some kind of meeting. And even then I'm sure I would have music piped directly into my brain if it were humanly possible, and I would ignore what people were telling me, smiling inanely like Homer Simpson enjoying clown music while his power plant melts down around him.
In fact, I'm pretty much never in silence when I'm by myself. I'm sure there's some kind of worrying psychoanalysis to be done there but I like to convince myself that it's just that I like music and nothing to do with preventing me from going on some sort of psychotic rampage. Anyway, one of the main times when I simply can't be without music is when I'm exercising. And anyone who has ever met me will know that a physique such as mine doesn't look after itself, so this is a huge consideration.
Back when I very first started doing any form of exercise (*cough* 2006 *cough*) I'd coincidentally just bought my first iPod, so I used to just put that on shuffle and see what came up. I quickly learned, though, that there was an art to selecting the right music for working out to. The right music will stop your energy levels flagging, and keep you driving forward in some kind of constant rhythm, although if you know anything about music theory, then you very quickly learn to avoid anything which is not in 4/4, otherwise you start doing very odd dances down the street when out jogging (that's most prog rock out of the window right there.)
Not only that, but the right song will actively give you some kind of boost just at the time when you need it. Many's the time when I've been feeling the burn and then something like "Bizarre Love Triangle" by New Order has cropped up and kept me pushing that little bit further. Running across the finish line of a race to something pounding, magnificent and uplifting will make you feel like you've just won gold at the Olympics, even if you're actually just 10,243rd at the Surbiton Fatties' 5k challenge.
It's equally true that the wrong song will really spoil your workout. My days of indiscriminate iPod shuffling came to an abrupt end when I was in the middle of a particularly challenging session on the rowing machine and Royksopp's "Only This Moment" was jarringly followed by "Bike" by Pink Floyd. Somehow, whimsical 60's, drug-addled whining about "I've got a bike, you can ride it if you like" wasn't quite what I needed at that point, and I suddenly hated Syd Barrett with a previously undiscovered venom which forced me to actually stop the rowing, and rip the earphones out before my brain went into meltdown. Go on, listen to the first 30 seconds and tell me you could cross a theoretical finish line feeling like an Olympian whilst Syd's rambling away in your ears.
So, how do I avoid such damaging musical faux pas these days? Well, first off I started by downloading various "Running Songs" compilations, and some general dance mixes. These worked fine for keeping the energy levels up and maintaining the pace, but were a bit lacking in variety and certainly missing the "ohmygodthisismyfavouritesongeverIjustwanttokeeponrunningandrunning" factor.
No, I quickly realised that optimum workout music would require a bit more effort than that. People disparage iTunes for many reasons, most of which I don't agree with, but one thing it definitely does well is cater for stats nerds like me. I have an accurate list of how many times I've played every single one of the 23,639 songs in my library and can make an instant playlist of the 1,000 or so I've played most with a couple of clicks. This was an excellent starting point - from here I went through the whole lot deciding which would be good for working out to and marking each one with a 1-star rating.
Then, a smart playlist was set up, enabling iTunes to pick 150 songs at random from this playlist and load them onto my iPhone for every workout session. (Also critical - I made sure it didn't keep putting the same ones on again and again by setting it to only pick songs not played in the last month. Even a great song can provoke Syd-rage when it comes up for the 4th time in a week.)
You'd think this effort would have been enough, but oh no. When I started training for the Bupa 10k race earlier this year, I quickly became aware that the only way I'd ever be able to run solidly for over an hour was by having just the creme de la, um, musique to keep me going. So a sub-list was devised. After each workout session I'd go back through the list of songs which had played and add the ones I'd found particularly motivating to an "Ultimate Running" playlist.
And so, I finally had a list of 164 songs designated as super-ultra-motivating for running to. No Floyd in sight. Great, in theory. What happened on the actual day of the big 10k run?
I think I'd made it to the 3k mark, received my first bottle of water, and was throwing it all over myself with gay abandon when the song I was listening to suddenly faded out prematurely and it was replaced by what can only be described as the theme to a German game show. "What the heck?", I thought, mindful of the fact that my parents might be reading and I should therefore refrain from foul language.
Thinking it might be some super-cool new feature of the run tracking app I was using, and that it had sensed that I was flagging and might appreciate something cheerful to listen to, I thought I'd give it a couple of minutes. But no, it carried on going and I soon felt anger levels rising to a critical point, as I struggled to keep going against the blazing heat.
There was therefore no choice but to do something about this, but that's easier said than done when you've cocooned your iPhone in a tiny pocket on the back of your shorts and the headphones have a ridiculously short lead which you've secreted under your running top. I'm not the most graceful of runners anyway, but trying to carry on running whilst holding a bottle of water in one hand and twisting the other arm around behind me to retrieve the iPhone, attempting to not yank down my shorts and garotte myself with the earphone cord in the process finished off any shred of dignity I might have had left. Eventually I got out the phone and found that a 'Brain Challenge' app which I hadn't used for years had decided to start itself up, almost as if it didn't think I was putting my body through enough, and that I ought to be trying to solve some mental agility problems whilst I completed my run.
Eventually I managed to shut it down, and get back to the music, but I'd lost some time and people dressed as badgers and giant condoms were overtaking me. Not to worry, the motivating music would help me pick up the pace again... But, of course, in my haste I'd managed to put the phone on standard shuffle. And unfortunately it was absolutely not an option to go through the 5-minute cord-wrestling rigmarole all over again, so I ended up crossing the finish line to some kind of Sigur Ros track, and not even a good, uplifting one (you know, the kind beloved by nature documentary producers the world over) - no, one of the really quiet, ambient ones.
This never would have happened with my old Sony Walkman - so much for progress.
I may have mentioned before that I'm obsessed with music. In fact, I'm pretty sure I did. I'm essentially never without music at any time during the day - cooking, cleaning, driving, working - unless I'm in some kind of meeting. And even then I'm sure I would have music piped directly into my brain if it were humanly possible, and I would ignore what people were telling me, smiling inanely like Homer Simpson enjoying clown music while his power plant melts down around him.
In fact, I'm pretty much never in silence when I'm by myself. I'm sure there's some kind of worrying psychoanalysis to be done there but I like to convince myself that it's just that I like music and nothing to do with preventing me from going on some sort of psychotic rampage. Anyway, one of the main times when I simply can't be without music is when I'm exercising. And anyone who has ever met me will know that a physique such as mine doesn't look after itself, so this is a huge consideration.
Back when I very first started doing any form of exercise (*cough* 2006 *cough*) I'd coincidentally just bought my first iPod, so I used to just put that on shuffle and see what came up. I quickly learned, though, that there was an art to selecting the right music for working out to. The right music will stop your energy levels flagging, and keep you driving forward in some kind of constant rhythm, although if you know anything about music theory, then you very quickly learn to avoid anything which is not in 4/4, otherwise you start doing very odd dances down the street when out jogging (that's most prog rock out of the window right there.)
Not only that, but the right song will actively give you some kind of boost just at the time when you need it. Many's the time when I've been feeling the burn and then something like "Bizarre Love Triangle" by New Order has cropped up and kept me pushing that little bit further. Running across the finish line of a race to something pounding, magnificent and uplifting will make you feel like you've just won gold at the Olympics, even if you're actually just 10,243rd at the Surbiton Fatties' 5k challenge.
It's equally true that the wrong song will really spoil your workout. My days of indiscriminate iPod shuffling came to an abrupt end when I was in the middle of a particularly challenging session on the rowing machine and Royksopp's "Only This Moment" was jarringly followed by "Bike" by Pink Floyd. Somehow, whimsical 60's, drug-addled whining about "I've got a bike, you can ride it if you like" wasn't quite what I needed at that point, and I suddenly hated Syd Barrett with a previously undiscovered venom which forced me to actually stop the rowing, and rip the earphones out before my brain went into meltdown. Go on, listen to the first 30 seconds and tell me you could cross a theoretical finish line feeling like an Olympian whilst Syd's rambling away in your ears.
 |
| I'm sorry, Syd. You're forgiven now. |
So, how do I avoid such damaging musical faux pas these days? Well, first off I started by downloading various "Running Songs" compilations, and some general dance mixes. These worked fine for keeping the energy levels up and maintaining the pace, but were a bit lacking in variety and certainly missing the "ohmygodthisismyfavouritesongeverIjustwanttokeeponrunningandrunning" factor.
No, I quickly realised that optimum workout music would require a bit more effort than that. People disparage iTunes for many reasons, most of which I don't agree with, but one thing it definitely does well is cater for stats nerds like me. I have an accurate list of how many times I've played every single one of the 23,639 songs in my library and can make an instant playlist of the 1,000 or so I've played most with a couple of clicks. This was an excellent starting point - from here I went through the whole lot deciding which would be good for working out to and marking each one with a 1-star rating.
Then, a smart playlist was set up, enabling iTunes to pick 150 songs at random from this playlist and load them onto my iPhone for every workout session. (Also critical - I made sure it didn't keep putting the same ones on again and again by setting it to only pick songs not played in the last month. Even a great song can provoke Syd-rage when it comes up for the 4th time in a week.)
You'd think this effort would have been enough, but oh no. When I started training for the Bupa 10k race earlier this year, I quickly became aware that the only way I'd ever be able to run solidly for over an hour was by having just the creme de la, um, musique to keep me going. So a sub-list was devised. After each workout session I'd go back through the list of songs which had played and add the ones I'd found particularly motivating to an "Ultimate Running" playlist.
And so, I finally had a list of 164 songs designated as super-ultra-motivating for running to. No Floyd in sight. Great, in theory. What happened on the actual day of the big 10k run?
I think I'd made it to the 3k mark, received my first bottle of water, and was throwing it all over myself with gay abandon when the song I was listening to suddenly faded out prematurely and it was replaced by what can only be described as the theme to a German game show. "What the heck?", I thought, mindful of the fact that my parents might be reading and I should therefore refrain from foul language.
 |
| A German gameshow. No, I have no idea either. |
Thinking it might be some super-cool new feature of the run tracking app I was using, and that it had sensed that I was flagging and might appreciate something cheerful to listen to, I thought I'd give it a couple of minutes. But no, it carried on going and I soon felt anger levels rising to a critical point, as I struggled to keep going against the blazing heat.
There was therefore no choice but to do something about this, but that's easier said than done when you've cocooned your iPhone in a tiny pocket on the back of your shorts and the headphones have a ridiculously short lead which you've secreted under your running top. I'm not the most graceful of runners anyway, but trying to carry on running whilst holding a bottle of water in one hand and twisting the other arm around behind me to retrieve the iPhone, attempting to not yank down my shorts and garotte myself with the earphone cord in the process finished off any shred of dignity I might have had left. Eventually I got out the phone and found that a 'Brain Challenge' app which I hadn't used for years had decided to start itself up, almost as if it didn't think I was putting my body through enough, and that I ought to be trying to solve some mental agility problems whilst I completed my run.
Eventually I managed to shut it down, and get back to the music, but I'd lost some time and people dressed as badgers and giant condoms were overtaking me. Not to worry, the motivating music would help me pick up the pace again... But, of course, in my haste I'd managed to put the phone on standard shuffle. And unfortunately it was absolutely not an option to go through the 5-minute cord-wrestling rigmarole all over again, so I ended up crossing the finish line to some kind of Sigur Ros track, and not even a good, uplifting one (you know, the kind beloved by nature documentary producers the world over) - no, one of the really quiet, ambient ones.
This never would have happened with my old Sony Walkman - so much for progress.
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